Even with an exciting plot with such potential, the actual writing really varied for me. I started the first page thinking the writing was really nice- descriptive and varied in language and structure. However, as I read on, I felt like the writing was trying too hard. Some sentences felt as if the author worked really hard to craft each sentence as a work of art. The result didn't have the effortless feel that my favorite books have had. Additionally, there was inconsistent comma use, occasional tense changes in a single sentence, missing punctuation, a confusing use of "Matt" instead of "Mike" early on (apparently a foretelling of a new identity down the road). Some sentences were somewhat confusing as written. For example, I took these sentences from two consecutive pages (and there were others I could have chosen): "Neither it is not safe for you to go outside." "Their attentions were appeared fixed more upon examining the human presence in the other streets, leading away from where they were standing." and "Though not in the EU he had much influence with people here and I was rescued from the situation." A more effective use of punctuation would have really helped clarify those sentences. Additionally, there is a lot of smirking from the bad guys in the beginning of the story, and I had no idea someone could actually "smirk harder." A really thorough editing would elevate this story quite a bit.
There are many characters in this story, some only slightly developed, making it difficult to keep track of everyone along the way. Mike goes through a major metamorphosis in this book- interesting and necessary, but the actual changes were sometimes unrealistic and obvious. This story is really driven by plot rather than characters, and the result is an uneven development of the characters, with some a little more interesting than others. Even though it's the plot events that drive the story, some events in the story seemed to have been done for the sake of convenience just to get to the next event, and the overall effect lacks some fluidity and realism. Some events didn't seem as logical as I would have expected, and I couldn't always follow the "why" of the choices made. At times, the plot dragged enough to make me forget where we were going and why. The overall effect felt somewhat disjointed to me.
An intriguing concept with tons of potential, but would really benefit from some editing of the writing and tightening of the plot events. I'm giving it a slight boost in star rating soley based on the fact that I loved the underlying concept.
3 /5 stars
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